The Talking Points by Devilstower           Mon Sep 24, 2007 at 07:03:13 PM PDT

 

 

 

Listen up, stenography pool.  While Bush is playing hookey from the global climate change summit after expressing his support for anarchy as the preferred means of handling international affairs, these are the talking points you'll be using to describe the really important progress made during Ferris Bush's day off.  And don't worry!  A Siegel has already provided the full length version, so this is just the Cliff Notes.  You can fit them in fully authorized tasty thirty second sound bites of joy.

 

Here's the description of Mr. Bush's prom for those countries too hip to attend the real prom, provided by Martin E. McGuinness, Special Assistant to the President:

 

    Launch a process for identifying a long-term global goal to reduce greenhouse gases.

 

Translation: Champagne corks are going to fly as we... launch a process to identify a long-term goal.  Then we'll discuss a proposition to examine a non-binding referendum.  We might even study a plan to consider a proposal while we're at it.  Take that, people who said this meeting was just a way to dodge making a real commitment at the UN gathering!

 

    Discuss technology pathways and near-term national strategies to promote energy security and reduce greenhouse gases.

 

Translation: No-bid contracts are available for the first ten Halliburton spin-offs that claim to have a gizmo, gadget, or enough cool technobabble we can hide behind.

 

    Construct work programs for key sectors, such as advanced coal and transportation

 

Translation: More coal, more cars, more money.

 

    Agree that we should strengthen emissions reporting and harmonize how we measure our reductions

 

Translation: If everyone agrees to cheat the same way, then no one is cheating.

 

There you have it, a sound program of voluntary measures, plus funding for for coal and oil.  Join us next week when we discuss the plan for creating a long term strategy for developing a vision of dealing with imported pet toys.  The basic idea: a strong program of voluntary measures, plus more funding for coal and oil.

 

Update [2007-9-24 22:25:58 by Devilstower]: As A Siegel reminds me, I left out the best part.  These talking points require no translation, as they are pre-packaged parody.

 

        * This Administration has done more for the environment and addressing energy security and climate change than any other in history.

 

        * The President treats climate change seriously and is taking aggressive, yet responsible action to reduce our greenhouse gases based on the best available science.

 

        * In 2006, it is estimated U.S. absolute CO2 emissions declined 1.3% while the economy grew 3.3%.

 

On that last point, can we just say, hurray!  The Bush administration has proved that you can lower greenhouse gases while improving the economy, exactly the thing they've said was impossible.  So the next time someone talks about the "cost" of cutting greenhouse gases, have this one handy.

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Bush Lies About Senator William Fulbright and Vietnam

 

http://www.waxingamerica.com/neocons/index.html

 

In his speech August 22, 2007 President George W. Bush, displaying a profound and dangerous misunderstanding of American History and our involvement in World War II, the Korean Conflict, and the Vietnam War, took a sentence from Senator J. William Fulbright's The Crippled Giant and mangled it out of context.

 

        In 1972, one antiwar senator put it this way: "What earthly difference does it make to nomadic tribes or uneducated subsistence farmers in Vietnam or Cambodia or Laos, whether they have a military dictator, a royal prince or a socialist commissar in some distant capital that they've never seen and may never heard of?" ...The world would learn just how costly these misimpressions would be...

 

It has been over thirty years since I read the book. If memory serves me correctly, Senator Fulbright asked a rhetorical question and was not dismissing the aspirations "nomadic tribes or uneducated subsistence farmers."  His point was that in the desperate struggle to survive, the battles for control of the government "in some distant capital" was not the focus of their daily lives.

 

Fulbright went on to say that he hoped that one day the democracy would be attainable for them.

 

When I have the book in hand, I will post the remainder of Fulbright's thoughts, HERE.

 

    Update: 8/23/07 at 6:15 PM. Anthony provided the entire quote in his comment below. Now that I have had the opportunity to read it in context, Bush's distortion is more egregious than I imagined. The most moderate history professor would give the speech a failing grade based on this one distortion.

 

        Nor does it matter all that terribly to the inhabitants. At the risk of being accused of every sin from racism to communism, I stress the irrelevance of ideology to poor, peasant populations. Someday, perhaps, it will matter, in what one hopes will be a constructive and utilitarian way. But in the meantime, what earthly difference does it make to nomadic tribes or uneducated subsistence farmers, in Vietnam or Cambodia or Laos, whether they have a military dictator, a royal prince or a socialist commissar in some distant capital that they have never seen and may never even have heard of?

 

        At their current stage of undevelopment these populations have more basic requirements. They need governments which will provide medical services, education, birth control programs, fertilizer, high-yield seeds and instruction in how to use them. They need governments which are honest enough to refrain from robbing and exploiting them, purposeful enough to want to modernize their societies, and efficient enough to have some ideas about how to do it. (emphasis added) Whether such governments are capitalist or socialist can be of little interest to the people involved, or to anyone except their incumbent rulers, whose perquisites are at stake, and their great-power mentors, fretting in their distant capitals about ideology and "spheres of interest."

 

    As you can see, Fulbright made the point that a socialist or capitalist government was not important but that what was needed was, "...governments which are honest enough to refrain from robbing and exploiting them.." In this day and age of no bid multi billion dollar contracts to Haliburton, that sounds pretty democratic to me.

 

It is despicable that a United States President would twist the words of a heroic United States Senator and portray Fulbright as suggesting that democracy is of little consequence to impoverished people.

 

If Bush wished to quote Fulbright, he might have noted:

 

    *

      We have the power to do any damn fool thing we want to do, and we seem to do it about every 10 minutes.

    *

      We are trying to remake Vietnamese society, a task which certainly cannot be accomplished by force and which probably cannot be accomplished by any means available to outsiders.

    *

      The rapprochement of peoples is only possible when differences of culture and outlook are respected and appreciated rather than feared and condemned, when the common bond of human dignity is recognized as the essential bond for a peaceful world.

    *

      The cause of our difficulties in southeast Asia is not a deficiency of power but an excess of the wrong kind of power which results in a feeling of impotence when it fails to achieve its desired ends.

    *

      The biggest lesson I learned from Vietnam is not to trust our own government statements. I had no idea until then that you could not rely on them.

    *

      Power tends to confuse itself with virtue and a great nation is particularly susceptible to the idea that its power is a sign of God's favor, conferring upon it a special responsibility for other nations - to make them richer and happier and wiser, to remake them, that is, in its own shining image.